Regular Sleep
Chris: Dude, I’ve been calling you for three hours. Where have you been? We’ve got band practice.
Frank: Relax, man. I was asleep. What time is it?
Chris: It’s fucking 3 p.m.
Frank: Fuck. It’s 3 fucking p.m.? How the fuck did I wake up at 3 fucking p.m.? I mean, I got home from Sarah’s barbecue at around nine…And then I started watching that stupid movie where Diane Lane goes to fucking Italy and buys a house or something. Oh! And then I started Googling flights to Italy, ‘cause I totally wanna go there next month after I quit this shitty bookstore job. And then I think I wrote a poem. I dunno. I started drinking during that movie. It was kinda necessary. And then Bonnie was on G-Chat and she was bitching about some dude who she ghosted on who created a whole new fucking Facebook profile so that he could contact her after she had blocked him. And then I went on Facebook and looked at pictures of myself for a while. Decided I need to, like, overhaul my whole fucking style. Tried to shop online. Realized I’m kinda running low on money. Decided I shouldn’t quit my job. Started panicking about my future. And then…I think I passed out.
Chris: That’s really interesting. Get your ass over here.
Frank: I dunno, dude. I’m still pretty tired. I think I need a nap.
(Photo)
Sounds like my way of life!
